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We’re all guilty of it – negative self talk. Someone complements your appearance and and to yourself you think, Are you crazy? I look like a slag – or something to that effect. Have you ever uttered it out loud? That’s even worse. Most of us have done it more often than we’d like to admit. Negative thinking can be damaging not only to our self-esteem, but can begin a cycle of thought and behavior which negatively impacts our own perception of events in our lives.
Take me as an example. I research an area. Read about it. Construct a perfect blog post. I’m confident it’s a Pulizter Prize winner. As soon as I publish it, I notice one tiny error. I berate myself even though the error was not significant. While I get good feedback I continually say/think it’s not so hot. My negativity has minimized the entire effort, and magnified one area of it.
What steps can we take to avoid this pattern? Take a step back and look at the project objectively. Not only did you complete it in an efficient manner, but it will become the template for future projects. Forget about the mistake; think about what you’ve achieved.
Negative thought patterns are popular around the holidays or any major undertaking. You look around and decide it’s just too much; you can’t do it; why bother. Stop! Take a deep breath and consider dividing up the tasks. Enlist the aid of your family to help by assigning each one a specific job. Once you begin the process of prioritizing, you will feel better and it will be accomplished.
Let’s say you’ve started a diet. One day, you have a craving for a particular dessert. You quickly decide your diet is over, and it wasn’t worth the effort. You walk over to the mirror and utter to yourself, I’m fat, and that’s all there is to it.
Au contraire mon ami! Setting yourself up for failure by thinking negatively about the way you look does not solve the immediate problem. Instead, admit to cheating; promise you’ll try harder, and allow positive thoughts to guide you through it.
Probably the most intensely negative thought processes are experienced by teenagers. These are people who are in the thrall of their hormones. Perhaps they are unhappy with school, or peer pressure has made them act in a way that cultivates anger. While they may not mean what they say, verbal self abuse is still a sign which requires immediate intervention. A thought becomes a seed which could germinate into the act itself.
Now that you’re aware of it, it’s up to you to ensure that any hint of negativity is purged from your thought process and to avoid imprinting unwelcome thoughts onto our family or friends. Remember, you attract what you think about.
Resource: Language of Emotional Intelligence
- 7 Comments
- Tags: communication, emotional intelligence, eye contact, language, manage stress, posture, unspoken rules
What do you think? Join the discussion...
We’re all guilty of it – negative self talk. Someone complements your appearance and and to yourself you think, Are you crazy? I look like a slag – or something to that effect. Have you ever uttered it out loud? That’s even worse. Most of us have done it more often than we’d like to admit. Negative thinking can be damaging not only to our self-esteem, but can begin a cycle of thought and behavior which negatively impacts our own perception of events in our lives.
Take me as an example. I research an area. Read about it. Construct a perfect blog post. I’m confident it’s a Pulizter Prize winner. As soon as I publish it, I notice one tiny error. I berate myself even though the error was not significant. While I get good feedback I continually say/think it’s not so hot. My negativity has minimized the entire effort, and magnified one area of it.
What steps can we take to avoid this pattern? Take a step back and look at the project objectively. Not only did you complete it in an efficient manner, but it will become the template for future projects. Forget about the mistake; think about what you’ve achieved.
Negative thought patterns are popular around the holidays or any major undertaking. You look around and decide it’s just too much; you can’t do it; why bother. Stop! Take a deep breath and consider dividing up the tasks. Enlist the aid of your family to help by assigning each one a specific job. Once you begin the process of prioritizing, you will feel better and it will be accomplished.
Let’s say you’ve started a diet. One day, you have a craving for a particular dessert. You quickly decide your diet is over, and it wasn’t worth the effort. You walk over to the mirror and utter to yourself, I’m fat, and that’s all there is to it.
Au contraire mon ami! Setting yourself up for failure by thinking negatively about the way you look does not solve the immediate problem. Instead, admit to cheating; promise you’ll try harder, and allow positive thoughts to guide you through it.
Probably the most intensely negative thought processes are experienced by teenagers. These are people who are in the thrall of their hormones. Perhaps they are unhappy with school, or peer pressure has made them act in a way that cultivates anger. While they may not mean what they say, verbal self abuse is still a sign which requires immediate intervention. A thought becomes a seed which could germinate into the act itself.
Now that you’re aware of it, it’s up to you to ensure that any hint of negativity is purged from your thought process and to avoid imprinting unwelcome thoughts onto our family or friends. Remember, you attract what you think about.
Resource: Language of Emotional Intelligence
- 7 Comments
- Tags: communication, emotional intelligence, eye contact, language, manage stress, posture, unspoken rules
Yep! It’s really tricky to monitor those self-deprecating remarks.
Years ago, in Silva, I learned a technique for undoing negative self-talk: When you catch yourself saying something negative to yourself, whether silently or out loud, IMMEDIATELY say “Cancel! Cancel!” and then repeat a positive comment to replace the negative. It may seem a little silly at first, but you’d be amazed what a difference it makes.
After all, if we don’t monitor our self-talk, then who will?
Brennan Kingslands last blog post..Deteriorating Education Standards
ReplySo true, I have to constantly check myself for negative thoughts and talk, watched “The Secret” again for some motivation and you know what, life is just better when you are positive! Good article!
ReplyThat’s a good technique Brennan!
Tonie, that’s one DVD that’s never far from my DVD player:)
ReplyExcellent article.
Great advice for a pessimistic optimist such as myself (hang on…maybe I am an optimistic pessimist!)
Bas last blog post..What Is Blogging?
ReplyOh man, are you ever dead on here. And I love Brennan’s comment.
Regarding writing (and getting things done) some marketer said something along the lines of, “The worst it will ever be is what it is NOW. Get it up there, post it, release it, and then fix it if you really have to.”
Just get it out there. Then focus on the good stuff and ignore the small stuff. Boy, sometimes that’s just hard to do. Takes lots of practice and we also have to learn to forgive ourselves when we slip up.
Thanks.
ReplySelf Sabotage With Negative Thought Patterns | Mind Mart…
We’re all guilty of it – negative self talk. Someone complements your appearance and and to yourself you think, Are you crazy? I look like a slag – or something to that effect…
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