Self Sabotage With Negative Thought Patterns

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We’re all guilty of it – negative self talk. Someone complements your appearance and and to yourself you think, Are you crazy? I look like a slag – or something to that effect. Have you ever uttered it out loud? That’s even worse. Most of us have done it more often than we’d like to admit. Negative thinking can be damaging not only to our self-esteem, but can begin a cycle of thought and behavior which negatively impacts our own perception of events in our lives.

Take me as an example. I research an area. Read about it. Construct a perfect blog post. I’m confident it’s a Pulizter Prize winner. As soon as I publish it, I notice one tiny error. I berate myself even though the error was not significant. While I get good feedback I continually say/think it’s not so hot. My negativity has minimized the entire effort, and magnified one area of it.

What steps can we take to avoid this pattern? Take a step back and look at the project objectively. Not only did you complete it in an efficient manner, but it will become the template for future projects. Forget about the mistake; think about what you’ve achieved.

Negative thought patterns are popular around the holidays or any major undertaking. You look around and decide it’s just too much; you can’t do it; why bother. Stop! Take a deep breath and consider dividing up the tasks. Enlist the aid of your family to help by assigning each one a specific job. Once you begin the process of prioritizing, you will feel better and it will be accomplished.

Let’s say you’ve started a diet. One day, you have a craving for a particular dessert. You quickly decide your diet is over, and it wasn’t worth the effort. You walk over to the mirror and utter to yourself, I’m fat, and that’s all there is to it.

Au contraire mon ami! Setting yourself up for failure by thinking negatively about the way you look does not solve the immediate problem. Instead, admit to cheating; promise you’ll try harder, and allow positive thoughts to guide you through it.

Probably the most intensely negative thought processes are experienced by teenagers. These are people who are in the thrall of their hormones. Perhaps they are unhappy with school, or peer pressure has made them act in a way that cultivates anger. While they may not mean what they say, verbal self abuse is still a sign which requires immediate intervention. A thought becomes a seed which could germinate into the act itself.

Now that you’re aware of it, it’s up to you to ensure that any hint of negativity is purged from your thought process and to avoid imprinting unwelcome thoughts onto our family or friends. Remember, you attract what you think about.

Resource: Language of Emotional Intelligence