Are Men Less Stressed Than Women?

For most women, it seems like stress is part of our everyday lives. We worry about getting the kids to school on time, keeping the pets fed, making sure the chores get done, and a hundred other things. But when we go home to unwind at the end of the day, why does our husband seem to be totally relaxed already in front of the TV? Is his life really less stressful?

One of the big factors in your stress is that you do have to coordinate all these things together. Sure, your man is busy and has a lot of work to do, but you have to do your work, as well as coordinate your schedule, the kids’ schedule, and often his schedule as well. Scientists think that it’s this coordinating and planning that adds stress to your life that your men don’t have.

Have you heard of the Hawthorn Effect? Social researchers have been aware of this phenomenon for the last 100 years or so. When researchers studied how people did their jobs, work performance improved. When the observation stopped, work performance dropped back. The Hawthorn Effect is now generalized to include any temporary change that ellicits an equally temporary change in behavior. This is why people who keep a diary of what they eat, tend to lose more weight than those who do not keep a diary.

A study was done where men and women kept a journal of what was going on in their lives and what was causing their stress. They found men generally worried about three things: their family, their job, and their finances. While they were all very different, women on average worried or were concerned with twelve different things. Those nine extra stressors are probably not as important to women as the other three, but they still add up to a lot of additional stress.

If you feel overly stressed, try keeping a diary about the things that stress you out. Over time, read your diary and notice how things resolved themselves. You may come to see that worrying about certain situations does absolutely nothing exept raise your level of stress and anxiety.

Not only do men have different levels of stress, they also have a different physical and psychological response to it. Psychological research has shown that hormones released during stress cause a “fight or flight” reaction. This means the body is prepared to escape the stressor quickly, or face it head on. The problem with this research is that when it was done, most research participants were men.

Now that women are becoming more common research subjects, different results are showing up. While women still have the fight or flight response, we also have an additional tend and befriend response which allows us to deal with stress through social connections and sharing with others.

This reaction to stress is because of a chemical in our system called oxytocin, a hormone that helps us become attached to other people. While men produce just as much of this hormone, the female body chemistry makes it much more effective. Oxytocin is the main reason that while he may just want to relax in front of the TV, women will go gab about it to our friends.

Studies show that using antidepressants to ease stress have the following side effects–

* Nausea
* Nervousness
* Dry mouth
* Heart palpitations
* Confusion/agitation
* Increased heart rate
* Eye pain (due to increased pressure)

One of the best natural stress relieving herbs is Valerian. It has a relaxing effect on the autonomic nervous system. It’s a good short term sedative that works quickly. Valerian root is warming, calming, and is good for insomnia. In the past 35 years, more than 200 scientific studies have been done on Valerian. In much of Europe, doctors are more likely to recommend Valerian than pharmaceuticals. In Germany, it is an active ingredient in over 100 over-the-counter remedies — including those for children.

Try this herbal tea formula to help ease emotional tension –

Don’t Panic Syrup

* 2 ounces dried kava
* 2 ounces dried scullcap
* 2 ounces dried valerian
* 6 cups water
* 1 1/2 cups sugar (or dehydrated cane juice)

Instructions:
Add herbs to water. Simmer on low heat for about an hour, to 1/2 the volume (three cups.) Strain liquid. Add sugar in a 1:2 ratio to the liquid, (1 1/2 cups sugar to three cups liquid.) Stir thoroughly. Store in glass corked bottle or jar. Take 1 teaspoon – 1 tablespoon every 15 – 45 minutes during times of acute anxiety or panic and up to 6 tablespoons in 12 hours.

The good news about stress is this bonding we feel over stress actually allows us to deal with stress better than men because we have that extra safety net. It may also be the reason we seem more stressed than him, because we’re talking about it and putting it out in the open. While he may not want to share, he’s probably still feeling stressed just like you.

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